i am back, i guess. i was gone and then i was back and then i was gone again. (remember? new york.) everything i did and saw, ate and smelled, felt and thought, was written in list form, as it happened or shortly thereafter, on green paper ricky and i bound with thread and glue. angel's share. blue's clues. jurassic five. fire escapes. bacon wrapped asparagus. he's gay. i am a big fat ball.

everyone keeps asking me how my trip was, as if i could sum it up in five minutes of anecdotes and, i don't know, i just can't. maybe i'm not ready to share it with you. maybe i don't know how.

a lot of my time was spent just watching life hustle and bustle all around me and wondering where i -- if i -- fit. i thought i'd come back with some answers, but i think i came back with more questions than ever before.